Goodbye 2014

I’m not even quite sure where to begin talking about 2014. Looking back its almost unbelievable how many things were packed into one year and it all just seemed to fly by so quickly. And although we’re a few days into the new year I wanted to share some of the ups and downs of last year here on my blog. So with that being said this will definitely be a long post, but bear with me and I hope to cover everything without rambling on forever.

Living in LA there are always exciting things happening and last year was no exception. My roommate and I attended Jimmy Kimmel Live and were just a few feet away from the lovely Aaron Paul (eep!). And speaking of celebrities, the SAG awards were happening literally 10 feet off my campus so I got to see TONS of other actors and actresses stepping right out of their limos and waving to us just across the street! To name a few, we saw Jennifer Lawrence, Julia Roberts (who actually came over and took photos with us!), Bradley Cooper, Matthew McConaughey, Meryl Streep, Ben Affleck, and Morgan Freeman. Needless to say I was completely star-struck.

Some other highlights of 2014 were that my boyfriend and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary, I got to watch my little beagle Holly, who we adopted in January, grow up into an older, mischievous pup, and I finally took up piano lessons like I’d always wanted to! Thinking about it all just makes my heart happy as there were so many great things that did happen in the last 12 months.

But there was also some not so good stuff. Some big, not so good, life-changing stuff.

It was one day after Easter; April 21, 2014. I had just spent the weekend with my roommate and her family and had only been back at school a few hours when my brother called me.

My dad had been in a car accident.

On a Monday afternoon an underage man speeding down our road on a suspended license, high on drugs, and drunk three times past the legal limit, swerved into the wrong lane and smashed head on into my dad who had pulled over on the shoulder to get out of his way. He did not make it. This was three days before I was supposed to come home to see him.

I feel as though most everyone goes through life assuming that all the bad stuff you see happening in the world could only happen to other people, never to you. So when these things do happen your body is so numb with shock and confusion and sadness it’s like you physically cannot think of a single way to comprehend the situation. At least that’s how I felt when I had to pack a bag and hop a plane to come back home that random Monday because of this horrible, crazy, tragic accident that just tore apart my world faster than I could blink.

There was a lot that immediately followed that I don’t feel like going into. But jumping a head a bit, these are some of the resulting challenges from that accident that carried over into the rest of 2014.

Firstly, I had to take an “incomplete” in all my spring classes. I missed the last two weeks of school and five finals. Then I had to make up that work and those finals during the fall semester. What’s harder than taking 16 units a semester? Taking 34 units in one semester (aka 9 classes). And on top of that we are now moving from our current house to a completely different state so we are in the process of fixing it up to sell by springtime, which means that I currently just have two temporary homes; my apartment in LA and my soon-to-be-sold house. And to top it off, because of all the added stress and overwhelming changes, I started suffering from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. I do take medicine that helps keep me from spiraling, but I’m sad to say it is still evident in my daily life that those three things are an underlying struggle. I might do another post later on, talking about it in more detail, but for now I’ll just leave it as “it’s been a struggle, but I am working through it.”

So if some of my posts have ever sounded less enthusiastic than usual or like I was down, it’s probably because, well, I was. I created this blog as a place for me to just talk about my life and all the things I like and that make me happy, but I am still human and I deal with just as many problems as everyone else, so sometimes those make their way on here too. But I think it makes me a real, more relatable person, so while I certainly strive to keep this place happy, and positive, and uplifting for myself and others, I do appreciate the moments where I can share more of the “real life” stuff that’s not so positive and think that maybe someone out there cares to read it. And even if no one does read it, I still enjoy writing it out so I can help organize all those scattered thoughts whirling around in my brain.

Though a large portion of my year and all its challenges resulted from my dad’s death, it would be wrong to pretend that not one single good thing happened at all the entire rest of the year.

I’ve grown so much closer to my family this year, as we all really leaned on and supported each other through all the chaos. I swam with Beluga whales, got to see my favorite band, One Republic, perform in concert, saw the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for the first time, and of course, started my very own blog!

I also had the pleasure of going on a cruise for New Years, which was an amazing, much-needed vacation. I am currently sorting through the photos now and will be posting some later this week :). So although this year was not exactly what I would consider a good one, it wasn’t all bad. And I try to remind myself to see the light through all the darkness and not dwell on the negatives, but focus instead on the positives.

You see, I titled my blog Life in Color because I feel that “colorful” is one of the best words you can use to describe this crazy world of ours. We have days that are blue where we feel sad and just need to cry. We have days that feel gray like the fog where we are lost or confused or our minds are clouded. But we also have days that are yellow when the world is bright and our spirits are renewed and we feel as happy and glowing as the sun. We have days that are red that are full of emotion whether it be love or passion or even anger. We have days that are green where we feel as relaxed and peaceful as the grass blowing in the wind.

For all the things that happened in 2014, all the good, the bad, and the ugly, it was without a doubt a very colorful year. And I can confidently say that it was full of lessons and learning opportunities and challenges that have definitely shaped me into a new person. One who is more thankful for each and every day that I get to spend here in this life with all the people I care about. One who might have blue days or gray days but has learned to appreciate all the yellow days that much more because of it.

Well that was a lot! For those that made it this far, thanks for reading through to the end about my crazy life.

I hope all of you have enjoyed your colorful year as well! And thanks to those who have supported me with the beginning of my blogging endeavors. I so appreciate everyone who has read and liked and commented on my posts, as I love reading your feedback and getting to talk with all of you.

So long 2014!

<3 Ash

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3 Comments

  1. January 8, 2015 / 3:31 am

    Ash – this is a wonderful blog about your past year!!! Keep writing and sharing and working through it all! We love you very much!
    Sandy

  2. January 6, 2015 / 10:15 pm

    What a great post. I love reading what you write. As I am aware of your ups and downs this past year as I used to work with you mom. Keep your chin up and keep smiling as life will give you the brighter color.

  3. Janice Sacramento
    January 6, 2015 / 4:09 am

    Great post. Indeed, it was a colorful year. I am glad you are not afraid to admit you have some depression and are not afraid to take some medicine for it. Continue with your medicine, your piano music (Rackmaninov, my favorite composer, wrote Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op18 after receiving therapy for clinical depression) and Yoga and you will have more sunny yellow days and bright blue sky days, not blue sad ones.

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